Week 7

     Since I've read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People twice, it was nice to have a refresher on the book.  My initial thoughts on the book when I first read it was, "This guys' gotta be a Mormon!" Who else has so much experience in a business environment and then takes the time to counsel others around him? Only a Bishop does that.   

    The habit that has meant the most to me is Habit 5 - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.  Since we all experience different things in life, we all have what I call a "personal toolbox" in life.  Now, my toolbox is different, because I have had different experiences than others.  Not everyone grows up in the same generation, the same religion, the same environment.  But oftentimes I get short-tempered or impatient when others do not have the same tools in their toolbox as mine.  If I am able to stop and see that your screwdriver is made of ceramic or glass and not the power drill that I come prepared with, it's easier for me to understand your situation, even if I have different tools.  At the same time, others have tools in their toolbox that are more powerful than mine, because they've crafted and honed them.  If we first understand, then we know how to respond to the situation.    

    My oldest daughter has very different views of life and although I've raised her in the church, she no longer is active.  If I continue in our conversations with her, with only the intent to reply or be right, I'll never be able to understand why she is so hurt and she'll never have a desire to return back to church.  Yet, if I listen with the intent to understand her and her points of view, we may be able to find some win-win situations between us.  I especially liked the lines in the summary, "Satisfied needs no do motivate a person to action.", and "If we judge first, we will never fully understand."  We cannot make judgments if we do not fully understand the experiences and background that influenced that person's had.   Secondly, just because we have met their need, does not mean that they will be motivated in the direction that we want.  I cannot judge my daughters' choices and force her back to church.  I can continue to love her and extend invitations, but it is her choice to live her own life.  Isn't that what Jesus taught, to love one another? I don't remember an asterisk on that saying, only if they believe the same as you.  By being able to be patient with others around us and ministering to each other, we'll be able to have private victories, which will help us in more public victories.